I got a magical little story that starts out with me being woken up by three cops and getting arrested, but I also have some other neat stuff, like shameless self promotion!
I don't post everything I do on here because I dunno, I like to keep my gallery on here for stuff I really like, but if you follow me on tumblr you can see more of my bullshit and if you follow my society6 you can see some stuff I personally think is neat and also for ~* Sale *~. Like check this sweet T-Shirt [link]
or this Pillow [link]
Now for my magical story. Basically, my mom saw a story on the news about some kid killing his parents and that freaked her out enough that she decided to call the courts to pretty much force me to be mentally evaluated. Jesus. H. Christ. So yeah, the other day I get woken up by three piggles and my mom and my first reaction is just "Am I dead?". But they tell me I'm not in trouble, I just have to go somewhere, so I'm all "... k well you all need to wait". So obviously I go on Facebook, and update my status to let all 3 of my friends know that I won't be around today. I announced to them that I had to piss like a pregnant woman, and that my uterus is shedding, so unless they want their cell to look like someone slaughtered a lamb in there, they need to let me go to the bathroom. After they "secure the area" and deem the half tube of toothpaste and 1-ply a non-threat, I finally get to perch upon the throne to piss. While I'm in there, they all gather on the couch outside the door to chat, so I yell at them to move to kitchen because I AM SO SUPER PEE SHY. Seriously, I hate peeing when I know people can hear me so much
that the pee will physically refuse to exit my bladder. So they move and I finally get some sweet relief, I take care of "Aunt Flo's" arrangements, and I start changing into the clothes mom gave to me, which was essentially just some nicer pants. The pants she picked for me were missing a button though, so I took them off, and I thought mom was in the living room still, so I walked out in my undies only to discover it's just the police. At this point in time, the amount of fucks being given are still at an amount of none, so I'm like "y0 I need some new pants, where my mom at" and they just awkwardly are like " SHE'S IN THE KITCHEN." as if they have never seen a girls anus clad in cotton before. I figure if they didn't want to see me in my underoonies they shouldn't try to arrest me before I've gotten a chance to properly prepare for the day, Gosh. Well, I get some new pants, do my hair, and I allow them to shackle me up so they can cuff n' stuff me, and off I went to the courthouse. Your nose will never itch harder than when your hands are chained to your belt loops. So yeah, after that the day went rather nicely. Made some new friends, got found mentally stable, and my mom was once again proven that she is the perfect nominee for the worlds biggest paranoid over reactor. The End!
Thanks for reading! Don't forget to check out my society6 either, I mean if you watch me I'm sure you'll enjoy it
Also thanks for all the favs/watches/comments too!